Basic White Women Searching For Adjectives

Father's Day (for many).

Before we get going super deep on this post, let me admit my caveats and failings upfront. I am pretty sure I’m infertile, thus can’t get my wife pregnant, and many people read posts like this as bitterness. I am sure there is a percentage bitterness, but it’s honestly mostly observation from a decade-plus on the outside of all this stuff. But, take it as you want to take it.

The Father’s Day post online (usually Instagram) is a very specific boondoggle, often because — by the time you’re a mom of 2–3, your husband has long since disappeared from your Instagram and has been replaced by the kids, the dog, and periodically your girlfriends. The idea of “husband” as “Instagram photographer” is a trope we hear often, especially when a new college football season starts, but it’s true. Men do often get “replaced” in marriages, at varying levels.

No one wants to openly admit that, and most people will claim their marriage isn’t like that, but it’s true in more cases than we realize.

So, for a Father’s Day post, usually a woman has to essentially bring the dad back from the dead, because he hasn’t been seen for 364 days, since the last Father’s Day post. And when she brings him back from the dead, she needs a series of adjectives to describe him, which usually involve these words: