"Blessed Be Thy Children:" Does Infertility Make You Lose Faith In God?

In some ways, yes.

Quick level-set before we begin here:

• I’m currently in the throes of infertility, for sure.

• I would classify myself as “pretty religious.” I think I am spiritual and I think about things and I want to know and understand more, but I also realize religion in conventional forms is a box-check for a lot of people. There are a lot of “stand and sit Christians,” who know when to follow the pastor and nod and sing — but don’t know what any of the things being said or sung actually mean. There are people who attend services all the time who are complete assholes, myself also included. And religion at its base was a tool of control over larger groups of people. For some, it still is that. So I see the limitations, but yes, I’m faithful and I’m involved in my church and all that.

• I also realize God does not have a micro-responsibility to you, even though there are people in the world who pray to God for a flat tire and mortgage payments and all that.

• I also understand that bad things happen in the world even in the presence of God. Tsunamis, miscarriages, crib death, hurricanes, genocide, etc. I get it.

• I wouldn’t really even call infertility “a bad thing.” It sucks to live through, but in the grand scheme of human problems, it is pretty far down the list. Controversial take to some, but I’d put “miscarriage” above “infertility.” Sue me.

I got asked 12x recently whether going through this makes me less faithful or have any less belief in some kind of different, higher power. Let’s see if I can answer that.