But, WHY Does Your Infant's Face Need To Be On Instagram?

It's a legitimate question of this era.

Before we get going on this post, yes my sperm sucks and I’m infertile and I cannot impregnate my wife and it’s terrible and sometimes I question it all and no, that’s not the reason I am writing this post.

I was talking to my man Todd yesterday — in some circles, he is better known as “Tara Lipinski’s husband” — and we’re talking about birthday parties and kids and smash cakes and all that, as 40-something males obviously do over text message.

So Todd says to me, “I am pretty sure when I turned 1, there are a few photos of me and the cake, but they’re not blasted all over the Internet.”

Now, Todd and I are old, and turned one before the dawn of the Internet, but still … he has a point.

Let’s unpack all this for a quick second.