A dog walk, a baby, frosh year of college: These things can fix onboarding

Let me teach you how to onboard.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that most onboarding programs -- the process of bringing a new employee into a company -- absolutely suck lead paint. Here are some stats backing that up. It's always amazing to me that people look at terrible "employee engagement" numbers -- 15% globally, son! -- and don't realize how it's tied to shitty onboardin…