How To Get Emotionally Punched In The Face

When life doesn't go according to plan.

Last Sunday, my pastor did a thing on “holiday seasons that didn’t go to plan” — ironically, I missed the first 25 minutes of church because I was at therapy — and then after, in this small group I go to, we talked about some holidays that didn’t go to plan over time. Nice mix of funny and somewhat sad stories. I definitely have both, from childhood and adulthood. Joy and growth, baby!

One story I didn’t tell, but I’ve told in some blogs over time, is that on December 26, 2016, my ex and I were at a red light in Miami, and she called me a “self-loathing alcoholic” in the middle of a fight. Now, would I say that description is periodically accurate? Absolutely. And would I say that on that day, I changed everything because she said that to me in that car? No. In fact, we broke up about 3.1 months after that, and one or two of my worst adulthood drunks were in 2019, years later. So no, in some ways she’s right and I didn’t grow from it immediately.

Was I pissed? Yes. Did I almost exit the car and walk through some downtown-adjacent Miami neighborhood? Absolutely. Did I kinda know the whole thing was over and all we needed to sort was the logistics? I’d bet $10 on that, yea.

When I got back to her parents’ place, I walked around cranking this to steady myself emotionally: