Is Birthday Sex Obligatory?

An uncomfortable question, perhaps, but one that underscores many other discussions.

Your life is ultimately a series of chapters (profound), and some people stick around for most of the book — ideally your parents and (once you meet them) children. Maybe some friends. Most are around for 1–2 chapters. That’s a hard lesson of adulthood, but eventually it gets easier.

Well, back in 2009 or so, I helped move my friend into her graduate school apartment in Philadelphia. She was living with some woman from Minneapolis. I think they eventually grew to hate each other, but on this move-in weekend, it seemed all fine. The Minneapolis girl’s dad was there, and all I did was talk to him about Tim Pawlenty and the Twins as I moved stuff into this apartment. It was pretty fun.

Well, later that night I went out with my friend and her friend, who was also my friend. To make things more complicated, both of them are good friends with my ex-wife, or were at one point. I started this post by discussing “chapters” because, in August 2009, I was close to best friends with these girls. The last time I talked to either was probably 2018. So, life happens.

Anyway.

We go out to this bar and my friend’s boyfriend is coming the next day. It’s my friend’s birthday the next day. So the other female friend starts playing the Jeremiah song “Birthday Sex” and we’re dancing around to it. My female friend says, “No, I don’t necessarily think the obligation goes male to female.” We cut the music and wanted to talk more. What do you mean?