"It Shouldn't Be This Hard."

The inherently tricky nature of modern adult friendship.

I have written a lot, and I mean a lot, about friendship since I started blogging more consistently. In fact, here is a 40-minute read (ha!) that I did on the topic. There are a lot of links and theories and ideas in there, so I think I can spare you a bunch of links further down this post. Godspeed.

I find it fascinating as a topic because it’s the lifeblood of middle-age, and yet no one treats it as such, and it often falls down the priority list behind work, “so busy with the kids,” and sometimes even hobbies. Men and women approach friendship in different ways — it’s more similar than we admit, but it’s still different, yes — and that colors things too. Some men are literally incapable of making any plans without their partner involved, so as you see divorce rates ebb and flow (I believe they are down since 2020, which I guess is good) and later marriage rates, you have a smattering of men just in the universe with no ability to coordinate “a hang.”

Where do we seem to be at, collectively, on friendship? It varies by person/couple, but there are some high-level pieces here.