"Not Having A Kid Is The Ultimate In Being Selfish."

Uh, have you met most moms?

I’ve been doing this whole infertility spiral for about 3.5 years now — did IVF twice, didn’t work either time, etc. — so I think a lot about these types of issues, literally every day if not once or twice per hour. I’ve now been in two long-term relationships with women who I could not make into a mom, and that does weigh kinda heavily on me in my worst moments. I’m not sure if every woman wants to be a mom, but it can feel that way.

Obviously, we do have somewhat of a stigma against child-less women. If you want to make this ideological, the stigma comes more from those who lean right, which makes sense, as conservative values embolden a certain set of gender roles. This stigma is usually framed up as “a woman being selfish,” as detailed well in this video:

That video borrows a good deal from this article.

The idea of that article is, essentially, women were supposed to “serve” and “nurture” men after the horrors of World War II. I kinda see that theory. Just FYI — we haven’t had a World War in a few decades. Some women still believe it, and the return to “trad-wife” content on Tik and The Gram underscores that (and creates equal amount of happiness and moral panic across swaths of people).