"She Seemed To Care. She Wanted To Play With My Cock."

The immediate realities of when "forever" ends.

You may generally be familiar with the concept of John Mayer calling Jessica Simpson “sexual napalm,” which I believe was maybe 12–14 years ago at this point. She was apparently “floored” by it, but I mean, do the mental math here. Apparently they had “loud monkey sex” in a hotel in Rome once. Cool. Everyone deserves that shit, ya know?

So, roughly seven…