Sophia's Daddy Complex

When the Hooters waitress wants to get after it (with cops).

I personally do not mind me some Hooters (the chain). I feel as if I have some good stories from within those establishments, which usually have decent food and two good things on tap. Here are three quick ones before we get going:

• One time at a Hooters on Arborlawn in Fort Worth, I was sitting next to a guy and his cell phone rang. He picked it up and said, “Yea honey, just getting the last few things at Home Depot.” I guffawed.

• I went to the fourth night that the downtown Fort Worth Hooters was open (it’s now closed). My friend and I were talking to the bartender, whose name I believe was “Abby.” Well, this guy on the other side of the bar kept saying “Abby” but pronounced “Abbbbbyyyyyyyyy,” and Abby says to us: “He’s been in here every night since we opened.”

• In that same Hooters, one time I went out of utter boredom on a Thursday during a slow work period, which is a fancy way of saying “unemployment.” I was having a few beers and these guys who worked in city sewage/sanitation were off work and banging back beers. I fell in with them, we talked about all manner of things including long-term relationships, and they covered my tab.

So, Hooters — not a bad place, although it definitely brings up a ton of stuff about the objectification of women. We will get into that in five seconds.

Here is Sophia Ross, sometimes slugged as Sophia Gabriella, of Sarasota. She works at Hooters. For context, she posts stuff like this to her Instagram with the caption “What’s your fantasy?”