The Glory Of The Masculinity-Deflating Recliner

Pull up a seat. (Literally, but hopefully not.)

Via analytics and general social trends, I don’t think many people read what I write anymore, which is OK because it gives me the general freedom to talk about things I feel like talking about, as opposed to being beholden to some type of SEO-driven calendar schedule to jack my personal brand through the roof. In reality, I think my personal brand is “off-task 40 year-old male who sometimes gets stuff right about work, but is generally disagreeable and has problems he’s working on,” and that brand doesn’t sell tummy teas on The Gram, so I mean, I dunno. I’m out here just being me.

I’m exactly the age of “I’ve now masturbated into a cup twice in six months,” and that number might actually be three times, and that’s scary that I potentially blocked out one of them.

Well, the first two thoughts I have are not deep, and then some of the later ones might be deeper, so read on if you want.

They need to stop putting recliners in these collection rooms: These places are always poorly-lit, with a selection of 1974 pornography when dudes are entering with their phones (which contain a much greater selection of pornography), and it’s just not very easy to get in any type of vibe or mood in a disgusting, possibly not-recently-cleaned beige recliner from the late 1970s. There’s no way to make this work as it should. The last time I did it, I just used the floor, which is probably even worse, and makes the actual collection harder, but the process easier. I’m a savant.

Does it make you think differently about the usefulness of pornography in society? I think I used it 66.7% of the time I went in there. Cancel me for that if you want. I know tons of couples (well, six or so) that use porn in their intimate lives. I think we race to cancel porn, and elements of the industry are awful, but it’s actually a more ingrained, potentially useful part of the social ecosystem than we realize.

OK, now onto broader topics.