They/Them

For better or worse, a lot of Americans still don't understand the full scope of transgender rights. Is this the hill that Democrats die on?

This is an extremely tough topic to skate and very contentious for people, and I am not transgender, so automatically I think a lot of my views on anything might be thrown out by half the people that stumble across this article someday. Still, I will try.

Quick Personal Anecdote

I am pretty sure my mom voted for Reagan back in the 1980s, probably tied to the semi-elite financial position of my parents then. Since then, she’s become more liberal or “bleeding heart,” and absolutely came to hate Trump. That said, she still would ask me sometimes: “What is happening with the kids and the gender?” It is very easy to dismiss this as some out-of-touch Boomer, which might be accurate. But to me, her questions about that while still hating Trump always reflected that it’s a point of confusion for many Americans. They already see chaos with homelessness and crime and the cost of a Costco run, and they want to feel some type of stability. Then they see news stories about younger kids changing their gender — however true or untrue or wholly-reported those stories may be — and it causes chaos for them, because they aren’t aware of the concepts and terms and how transgenderism has been around for generations, but was always a “suffer in silence” issue.

And the pre-eminent example of the confusion would be…

That is the famed “they/them” ad from Trump, which apparently caused a 2.9% voter bounce towards Trump among undecideds, which was purportedly the biggest bump of any ad in this election. Pundits have been going at this one for 10 days now. I personally cannot believe anyone was undecided in this election after about two days into the Harris candidacy, but hey. This ad apparently swung some people.

I will say personally, I never completely understood the pronouns thing, and one time I asked that out loud on Facebook, and a woman I barely know told me: “Google it, you fat fuck.” So that didn’t feel exactly inclusive. I did some research and I think I get it now, but I am not sure why those needed to be in Zoom name displays either.

Alright, so how is this tied to politics?

While this should be an issue between a kid, his/her parents, and a doctor — unfortunately the short answer here is that everything needs to be political now, probably because we are losing purpose across the board.

And then there’s this:

Trans is probably the area of public discourse where “average people” (“plebs”) think the left has gone too far — and a lot of that is about Trump fear-mongering and ads like the above, for sure. If some of the culture wars stuff dies down (ha?) in the next half-decade, I doubt Vance will need to run so hard on transgender attacks. But maybe. He seems like a creepy douche concerned by his own masculinity, so he might.

Is there a “centrist” position on transgender rights?

I think to get to a “rationality” view here, you need to throw out the furthest 3% of voices on the left and the right. They are doing no one any favors.

And while I am sure Pamela Paul got attacked somewhat for this article, this is a good place to start.

If you want a higher-level set on what’s happening around this issue, and remember this is from a very liberal newspaper:

In recent years, the concepts of gender identity and the possibility of being born in the wrong body have been introduced as early as elementary school. But a Washington Post poll found that 77 percent of Americans do not want teachers discussing these ideas in kindergarten through third grade and more than half oppose trans identity being talked about even in middle school.

The Democratic Party’s platform includes a pledge to defend gender-affirming care for minors. For people who are not well versed in the issue, this may sound like therapy to make children feel comfortable in their bodies; what it usually means in practice is allowing children to adopt a new name and pronouns, and in many cases, enabling them to change their bodies to resemble that of the opposite sex. This process can include puberty-blocking drugs, cross-sex hormones and, in some cases, surgery. More than 14,000 American children had gender-related medical interventions between 2019 and 2023.

While much of Europe has been pulling back from the gender-affirmation model, evidence has emerged that in the United States, proponents of this approach have let politics color science.

Alright. So that’s some background.

Here is another thing that calls out an important aspect of how the discussion is framed:

This is not because Americans are “uncomfortable” with the existence of transgender people or need to get with the program. About 44 percent of Americans already know someone who is transgender. Indeed, polls show that people have become less supportive of progressive ideas about gender identity as they have become more widely publicized and understood. According to Pew, 60 percent of Americans in 2022 said gender is determined by the sex at birth, up from 54 percent in 2017. Democrats’ opposition to allowing trans girls and women to compete in women’s sports increased to 48 percent in 2023, from 41 percent in 2021, according to Gallup, while independent voters’ opposition increased to 67 percent from 63 percent.

I think sometimes on this about my ex-wife. She had one lesbian best friend out of a few-female circle. Her parents, I.e. my ex-in-laws, were extremely Catholic and did not understand same-sex marriage. But then, throughout high school, their daughter became friends with a lesbian, and they understood it more. I believe they might have even attended that lady’s wedding. No joke. Two staunch Catholics, coming around. Kumbaya.

The issue that gets galvanized is sports, because — let’s be honest here — a lot of parents are more invested in their kids playing sports than almost anything, and they want a sense of fairness on “the pitch.” In the same Pamela Paul article above, you have this:

“Democrats spend way too much time trying not to offend anyone rather than being brutally honest about the challenges many Americans face,” Seth Moulton, a Democratic representative from Massachusetts, told The Times last week. “I have two little girls; I don’t want them getting run over on a playing field by a male or formerly male athlete, but as a Democrat I’m supposed to be afraid to say that.”

Yes. I think many people feel this way — including some Democrats.

So, as much as this might pain some people, if you want transgender rights to be a politically-viable issue on the left, you need to completely remove the sports element from it. Remove that discussion. It is a non-starter politically. If someone was a boy and becomes a girl, they either (a) don’t compete in sports or (b) compete against boys. If you keep pushing for a boy to compete with girls, you will always be exposed by ads like the one above. And until Americans fully understand the entire scope of transgender issues and rights, it’s a political wasteland to try and argue for equality on the high school pitch or pool.

Another elephant in the room

Virtually every MAGA-y-type person I know (I live in Texas) pays particular attention to the very end of this paragraph:

In my reporting, I’ve spoken with many parents of gender-dysphoric kids, overwhelmingly liberal and Democrat, who told me they felt betrayed by Democrats and by the Biden administration on this issue. They resent being labeled “anti-trans” for questioning whether it’s right to simply accept what their children say about their gender, especially since those children often suffer from other mental health issues.

Many people, for better or worse, think of trans as an “attention issue” or a “mental health issue.” I see the arguments, and I am sure that is the case for some people, but I do think many people who have gone through with the full process really felt trapped in the wrong body. I get that too. Have I heard a few people tell me that “trans is the new autism,” I.e. moms doctor-shopping to appease a child and make them feel seen or feel like they fit in somewhere? I’ve heard that. I don’t believe that, per SE, but I understand why people say that, sure.

There is some overlap, apparently, between transgenderism and autism.

I am not well-versed enough medically to say that.

RushTok

As transgender issues were front and center in the “culture wars,” what else was getting a lot of attention, including two documentaries and billions of TikTok views? Right. Bama RushTok.

Here’s a bunch of hot blond girls who will eventually be good little wives and PTA moms while daddy goes off and slays dragons in the financial sector. This is what life is supposed to be like, say many. This is what college is: the biggest experiences, the biggest football games, the best sisterhoods, etc.

The whole concept keeps us tethered to a past that’s comforting for many, which is where some of the popularity comes from. Some, of course, comes from wanting to see a train wreck unfurl.

People got fascinated with what’s essentially a Tradwife Preparation Academy because, well, it’s a tie to a past they understand. Oh, and because a lot of middle-aged men are creepy perverts. I should say that too.

A brief conclusion

I wish it was easier to just say, “Everyone should live their life, and let others live theirs unless it interferes with your own airspace in some way,” but unfortunately, American society is too untethered for that. This will remain a political issue, and as for whatever “common sense” means to you on this issue, there needs to be some “common sense” on the left. I still don’t think most in 2024 voted on this — they voted on day-to-day feelings of economic success — but it’s an issue the Democrats will consistently lose on until they find a “middle of the road” way to discuss it.

Your take?