When Entitled Moms Want (A Few Inches) More

Moscow Mules, cheerleaders, the Caribbean, and murder.

Here’s one summary of this case and why it got national attention.

If you need a quick true crime refresher, she was a married mom of three in Utah. Her husband owned a masonry business that was apparently successful, and he had family money too. He found her when she was a cashier at Home Depot. She got a million-dollar lifestyle of trips and kids and still decided it wasn’t enough, attempting (allegedly) to poison him three times and then finally successfully doing it.

This case is very slowly winding its way to a trial, and recently a few lesser charges were dropped:

Richins was initially up for the death penalty, but now it’s life in prison.

If you want to totally understand Kouri here as a savage bitch, her paramour (that means “lover”) was a guy named Robert. She was cheating on her now-dead husband with this guy. She sent him all sorts of texts about being together forever, etc, etc. She told him she wanted him all the time, but “beyond just sexually,” I.e. “spiritually.”

So, it took a year after her husband’s death to arrest her. What happened within that year? Well, eight months after her husband died, while she was presumably still sleeping with this Robert guy periodically, she evicted him from one of her real estate properties, and he became homeless in a Utah mountain town.

Just walk that back for one second: she loves this infidelity guy eternally, loves him with all her soul, but eight months after cashing in her husband, she evicts that dude too. Just insane.

I hope the Robert guy (paramour) pops up at trial, and says that Kouri tried to convince him to do it. You know that’s somewhere in this story.

Initially, I didn’t see the obvious overlap between Kouri Richins and Lindsay Shiver, but now I do. They are both rich bitch moms of three who had it all, but wanted more.

In Shiver’s case, she tried to get a lover in the Caribbean to kill her husband, but it didn’t work. I believe her husband is now dating a girl in the Crisley family, like from television. She’s either in prison in the Bahamas or, apparently, she tried to get with another rich guy when she was out of jail and he apparently beat her. That’s obviously not a good thing, and I don’t want women to be beaten, but there seems to be karma there.

By the way, Shiver is back in jail because she appeared on Good Morning America:

I always find this interesting about both genders. Generically, guys do it with business all the time — they have enough, and they want more. (See: billionaires.) Women seem to do it around well, I’ve got the kids and the money, but I deserve more than this. Both are societal edge cases for now, but there’s any number of “Live, Laugh, Love” girls in $8M homes who have probably considered poisoning a Moscow Mule.

Fucking crazy timeline we're in.