When The MAGA Dad Stops Getting Laid

The sad case of Barry and Suzanne Morphew, where the former appears to be skating on potentially murdering his wife of nearly three decades.

The Suzanne Morphew case goes to Mother’s Day Weekend 2020 (the first of several COVID-impacted Mother’s Days). I’ll link a video with an essential recap in a second, but basically you have this couple Barry and Suzanne Morphew from Indiana, married maybe 25–27 years. They had recently moved to a $1.5M house in Salida, Colorado. He had probably had several affairs, and she was currently in one with a guy named Jeff Libler out of Michigan — funnily, the three of them (Barry, Suzanne, and Jeff) had gone to HS together. So this marriage is collapsing, and she just disappears on Mother’s Day Weekend. He ends up getting interviewed probably a dozen times by the police, and his story changes maybe 18 times across those interviews, but somehow his case was dismissed — but in a way where they could go after him again — because the prosecution wasn’t giving enough to the defense.

Here’s a video that runs most of it down:

Here’s the affidavit for arrest warrant from 2021, which is 139 pages (!) and goes into minute detail about various relationships everyone had in Indiana and Colorado.

The body was eventually found, 45 minutes south of where they lived, and in April of this year, finally had her autopsy released. That link right there is from ABC News, but if you look at this article from The Denver Post, you will see that she died with a “cocktail of tranquilizer drugs” in her system. If you recall anything about this case, there were tranquilizer darts found in the Morphew home. I believe at one point, Barry told cops he was “shooting chipmunks” that were “bothering” him.

I can catch you up on this case via a few links:

• The basics

• Maps and some good videos

• “The 60”

• What car did Barry drive?

Basically if you want me to summarize this case even more directly, this was a marriage that had clearly run its course. He was all about demanding sex and seems very Trump-y. She was having an affair with a high school boyfriend of hers, now living in Michigan. The theory for years has been that she was sexting with her boyfriend — the last text she sent him was something along the lines of “Wanna get naked?”— and Barry (the husband) came home, saw that scene, and chased her around the house with his tranq gun.

Barry and Suzanne’s two daughters stood by their dad. Some have argued they did this for money, because you can find reports saying Barry is rich vs. he’s not rich. The house in Colorado, where they had only recently moved after raising their kids in Indiana, is pretty nice. I think the valuation is north of $1.25M, last I checked. That could just be the overall Colorado market.

Barry was arrested once for this, and almost stood trial, but he skated via two reasons:

1. Prosecution bungled some stuff.

2. There was foreign DNA in, I believe, Suzanne’s car — and said DNA was tied to an offender out of Arizona (DNA in the system but no name/match yet).

So, if she really died with a cocktail of tranquilizers, that definitely makes her husband look guilty (avid hunter), but also, tranquilizers are a way that a repeat offender (Arizona example, above) might subdue a woman, so it’s not immediately Barry here either.

Since I first heard about this case, I figured it would end when one of the two daughters flips on him and says stuff she knows. If you look through Suzanne’s texts with her friend, one of the main elements of this case, she does reference “sitting down with her daughters” a few times. The daughters knew their parents were on the rocks big time. If one of them flips with a timeline story, i.e. “I called my dad repeatedly at this time and couldn’t get him,” that might shake up this case.

If you read through different stuff, Barry Morphew sounds like the absolute definition of an aggrieved middle-aged Trumper guy who is annoyed about the world headed in a different direction. During one interview, he says his wife — who was late 40s, I think — “had the body of a 30-year-old” and “was good for giving sex.” Repeatedly when confronted with his wife’s affair in interviews, he refers to her “doing sex to me” as if it’s some duty, or if she’s supposedly hung up on some other guy, why is she sleeping with him?

He also tried to vote for Trump on her behalf (she was missing at the time) and told cops, “Well, I figure all the other guys were cheating, so…”

The interesting thing on this case is that his two daughters have always stood by him, but if you read through the affidavit, there is stuff with one of the daughters — the names are redacted in the affidavit — where one daughter complains about them always fighting and doesn’t want to come home for the summer to deal with their bullshit.

The daughters have been pretty bullish on defending him, including some network TV interviews:

They claim they “never had a doubt,” but they also knew their parents’ relationship better than most.

The daughters were gone on that Mother’s Day Weekend — they come back on Sunday, one of them with her boyfriend — but they still know more about the dynamic and what happened in the immediate aftermath than anyone. If they get a break in this case that isn’t a body, it will be from one of them.

BTW, buried in Barry’s Google search history is “how to make a girl cum UTube” (lol on all fronts) and “My First Handjob.” This guy is a class act all the way.

Barry Morphew looks guilty as sin. Maybe he’s not. We all get that chance in America, right? But if he is, I hope they get him eventually.