Why Are Young Girls Crying In Their Cars All The Time On TikTok?

In a word, "parenting."

There’s been a decent amount of coverage (for people that consume specific news sources) about the rise in female depression, especially among teenagers. I believe it’s tied to some CDC study, but I don’t remember the specific origin and now cannot be bother, as an elitist white male, to look it up. I jest. Here’s the original study that spawned approximately 92 million hot takes.

The primary “hot take” isn’t that hot at all — it’s something we’ve been saying for 13 years: phones. The “phones” narrative is both (a) true and (b) too easy. If you are even remotely familiar with the name “Jean Twenge” or her work, you know basically all the negative externalities for female teenagers started spiking around 2011, which was probably three-four years after the first iPhone and was the first inflection point for mass adoption. I believe this is roughly the chart:

So, “phones” is a good answer, yes. But it’s also too simple.

Now a new hot take (this one is a bit hotter) is that “liberalism” could be the root cause of female depression — and maybe among boys too! This is definitely a possible take, because I would say modern liberalism (or left-identification) has a push towards victimhood and trauma, and constantly talking about that and seeing it in TikTok feeds would be demoralizing and probably depressing, yes.

Most of the various talking points for this “liberalism means depression” argument are contained within this video, including source material:

The problem with the “liberal teens hate themselves” thing is that it reeks of culture war bullshit, whereby you find a few data points to demonize “the other side,” then bring in a very hot-button topic (how children are being raised and subsequently destroyed), marry the two together, and now you basically just created a top-20 podcast concept.

Here’s the problem with the basic concept, though: if “liberalism” is the driver of depression, and these kids are still living at home, couldn’t their parents talk to them and discuss like, how trauma isn’t everything and victimhood isn’t a strategy? Couldn’t their parents lock down their phones for a bit, or encourage them to talk about things with them? Couldn’t the parents do something?

That’s where we come to potentially the real issue of teenage female and male depression: bad, inactive, off-set parenting.

I realize parenting is hard. No doubt. I realize the American economy is a chicken fart most weeks, and you basically need two incomes, or to be born on second base, or something else to even vaguely compete and have your basic needs met with a few moments of comfort/convenience. I get it. Kids are messy and vomit and demand burgers and throw things and grow up and get sullen, and maybe by the time your daughter is 14, you’re kinda done with it, and letting her scroll TikTok is an important breather to you.

But you’re still her mom, or her dad. Those conversations can still happen, and the power of parenting can still supersede narratives about “victim libs” and “Oh God the phones.” Parenting still matters. It still has to. Why do you think people spend $100,000+ trying to get into that club? The golf isn’t even that good! There’s more shit on dresses!

I think sometimes we both deify parents — “hardest job you’ll ever have, but most rewarding!” — but let them off the hook too. It’s like the whole deal with Critical Race Theory. If you are upset by CRT, you don’t need to go bodyslam someone in your community through a table at a School Board meeting. You can simply talk to your kids about how you disagree with some of what they’re learning, and create a truly educational moment in the process.

Creating life and subsequently nurturing that life is the biggest responsibility one has in their own life. That’s why we are so aghast about family annihilators, domestic abuse of children, and kids killing their parents. That’s why we must find a motive in those cases, and/or endlessly speculate about them. We’ve got a few going on right now, actually.

So, it’s not about blaming something outside of your immediate family, i.e. “the devices” or “the demon libs.” It’s about talking to your kids about their experiences and their life and what they’re going through, giving them some context, and trying to help them.

I mean, right?